Could you use a little more magic in your life? Could your partner? Could your job?
As adults we generally accept that magic is an illusion, in which we haven't yet been able to connect effect with cause. We know of course that there must be that connection – yet paradoxically, as an audience, we still get that boost of excitement, that emotional rise, when the rabbit comes out of the hat. Although for the magician the surprise is probably not so great!
So where does that boost, that emotional rise, come from and how can we get more of it?
There is a normal point in early childhood called ‘object constancy’ where the child realises that mum still exists, even when she is not present. From then on things can delight us by popping in and out of existence – and magic is absolutely real. And what a lovely world that is when we believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. We believe that someday that Prince will come, that good will triumph over evil, and that someday, somehow, things will all turn out okay.
Then we grow up! We come to know that for every effect there is a cause, even if we can’t see it in the moment. The more our learning and experience turn into knowing, the more our sense of magic fades. So ultimately, knowledge kills off magic and something precious gets lost.
We come to know our partner so well – we come to know our job so well – we come to know our society so well – and the magic dies. Is it any wonder that people turn to alcohol or drugs for a good time? Perhaps it is an attempt to escape from an existence that no longer holds any magic. There doesn't seem to be much magic around in the world today – we mostly seem to come from ‘knowing’ – from technical expertise or hard-won life experience that can easily make us cynical.
Here are some symptoms of being stuck in knowing:
- Organisations which are over-managed and under-led
- Relationships which are safe and flat and dull
- Individuals who are smart, and right, and broke, (or worse, alone)
Knowledge kills Magic! Yet knowledge is the very base on which we build our society – a base that lifts us out of superstition and ignorance. How can we not ‘know’ when we surely believe that we do? Be aware that whenever you say ‘I know’, you set specific limits on any outcome – and on any possibility of magic. Paradoxically, saying ‘I don't know’ isn't it either – while this may not set limits, it takes you out of the equation, and leaves it up to luck (or to the rest of the world). It sounds like something from a book on Zen – ‘The way of magic lies neither in knowing, nor in not knowing’!
But I'm not advocating ignorance! What I am advocating is letting go of ‘attachment to knowing’ – of bringing pre-existing views to every new experience. Magic, the joy in the moment, and that elusive ‘quality of life’, come from ‘not knowing’ – from living in the questions themselves, from living in the possibilities. So what is a question big enough to live in? Well, what is your desired outcome for yourself, or for your relationship or for your work? Once upon a time the child in you knew all that very clearly as well – you just called it ‘wishing’. As adults, let’s call it your ‘heart’s desire’, or your ‘passion’. That is something truly real and truly your own, and the true source of magic. So, how to make magic – that is, how to create exciting experiences where effect does not follow logically and predictably from cause – is a process that starts with that private, internal journey and reality check. That’s the first step – ‘What do I really want?’
Then it is about realising that what you perceive as going on ‘out there’ in your outer life is a reflection of what’s actually going on ‘in here’ in your inner life. This doesn’t mean that you are omnipotent – or that the state of the world is all your fault! It is just the next step towards creating magic, and it applies equally to passion in relationship, synergy in teams, or ‘outside-of-the-dots’ results in business. So the second step is asking ‘What does my external experience reflect about my inner journey at this time?’
People have said it in many ways – “life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived”, “plan like an adult, and believe like a child”, “argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours!” All truisms – but here is the personal development key that will get you there... Santa Claus is not real – but the magic inside of you, that you have probably lost touch with, is absolutely real.
It’s the connection between our personal internal reality and our external experience that works by magic – that is, in mostly unconscious ways – and we can learn to utilise that magic connection to create the outcomes we desire. But not by believing in some invisible benevolent force outside of us – it all comes back to our attachment to ‘knowing’. It is you who creates the magic, or not! It doesn't just happen!
Your honest mixing of your genuine heart’s desire and your reflection on your inner journey will fire up new creativity and insights. But don’t let your new learning turn into knowledge! Let it turn instead into a growing awareness of the magic connection between your internal reality and your external experience. Let your greater awareness inform you of greater external opportunities that have been hitherto hidden. By definition, these opportunities are outside of your ‘knowing’ or you would already be exploring them, and it is your current ‘knowing’ that keeps them hidden from your awareness.
Of course, after recognising an opportunity, you have to take external action. That changes your external experience which in turn reflects on the state of your internal journey and most likely moves you closer to your heart’s desire. This may all sound a bit cosmic, but it works just as well for creating closeness in a relationship right now as it does for creating corporate success in the longer term. Give it a try!
A life worth living requires only three things – a genuine expression of your heart’s desire, a willingness to act on that, and a basic awareness of Practical Magic.
Your own VitallyMe Report will help turn your own self-knowledge into your own style of Practical Magic. Read more...
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